How to cope with living with your parents
With rent and the cost of living getting higher, many young adults today are having to live with their parents for longer or move back to the family home in order to save money for a deposit or when they are unable to find a job.
Depending on your family situation this could be good or bad news. It might be great having your parents around, but there might come a point that you want your own freedom and live under your own terms as your parents are stressing you out.
However it is important to realise that it is not forever. If you want to save a deposit for a home then this might be the sacrifice you have to make in order to reach your goal.
So what can you do to make living with your parents as stress-free as possible?
1) Make a contribution to the household
When living back at your parents you should help pay towards your food, utilities and rent (if your parents allow you to do so). By paying towards food and bills this will help you remain responsible with your money and you should also pay on time like you would if you were renting your own apartment. Your parents should not be put out of pocket if you have a job and can afford to pay rent.
2) Get involved with household chores
The dishes won’t do themselves and as you are now an adult you should start behaving like one. This means helping out with household chores, like taking the bins out, mowing the lawn, or doing the hoovering. If your parents are letting you live rent-free then helping out around the house is the least you can do to show your gratitude.
3) Personal Space
It is important that you still have some personal space as there will be times that you want to have time to yourself. This could be your bedroom, but could extend to other areas of the house too.
4) Guidelines
When living under your parent’s roof you will probably have to follow their guidelines and house rules. This might mean no house parties or excessive noise after 11pm, or no overnight guests. It is important that you are all clear on what you can expect from each other to avoid awkward confrontations.
5) Be appreciative
Make sure you let your parents know how thankful you are for them letting you live with them. It might not be the ideal situation for everyone, so it helps to let them know. Offering to cook dinner every so often can make a difference and mean a lot.
6) Stick to your goals
Having a realistic plan and sticking to it really helps. If you are looking to save a deposit in two years then you should keep to this and budget accordingly. You might be lucky enough to live rent-free, but your parents might also want you to show them that you are on your way to reaching your deposit goal, and not just throwing away your money on expensive clothes or nights out.
The same applies for when you are looking for a job. You need to show your parents that you are being proactive and looking for jobs, or at least doing some training to help you find a job. They might not appreciate you sat at home every day watching the TV and it is good motivation for you.
7) Socialise with friends
Living at home doesn’t mean you shouldn’t see your friends or participate in hobbies. You might feel lonely at times back at home, but it is important to still have a social life and this could also help motivate you to move out if you are living quite far from people.
8) Communicate with your parents
When living with your parents they might want to know when you will be home and if you will be having dinner with them. Communicating this information to them through a note or phone call helps your relationship as well as letting them know how your deposit is coming along. If you are finding it hard to save then they might be able to help you out by letting you off rent for a month.
9) Time to move on
Are you starting to argue with your parents more or more and are just not getting along as well as you once did? This might be the time to move on. Being miserable and falling out with your parents isn’t worth it for the sake of saving for a house deposit. The best thing to do in this situation is to move out and either live with friends or find a cheap place to rent so that you can continue saving a deposit.
Depending on your family situation this could be good or bad news. It might be great having your parents around, but there might come a point that you want your own freedom and live under your own terms as your parents are stressing you out.
However it is important to realise that it is not forever. If you want to save a deposit for a home then this might be the sacrifice you have to make in order to reach your goal.
So what can you do to make living with your parents as stress-free as possible?
1) Make a contribution to the household
When living back at your parents you should help pay towards your food, utilities and rent (if your parents allow you to do so). By paying towards food and bills this will help you remain responsible with your money and you should also pay on time like you would if you were renting your own apartment. Your parents should not be put out of pocket if you have a job and can afford to pay rent.
2) Get involved with household chores
The dishes won’t do themselves and as you are now an adult you should start behaving like one. This means helping out with household chores, like taking the bins out, mowing the lawn, or doing the hoovering. If your parents are letting you live rent-free then helping out around the house is the least you can do to show your gratitude.
3) Personal Space
It is important that you still have some personal space as there will be times that you want to have time to yourself. This could be your bedroom, but could extend to other areas of the house too.
4) Guidelines
When living under your parent’s roof you will probably have to follow their guidelines and house rules. This might mean no house parties or excessive noise after 11pm, or no overnight guests. It is important that you are all clear on what you can expect from each other to avoid awkward confrontations.
5) Be appreciative
Make sure you let your parents know how thankful you are for them letting you live with them. It might not be the ideal situation for everyone, so it helps to let them know. Offering to cook dinner every so often can make a difference and mean a lot.
6) Stick to your goals
Having a realistic plan and sticking to it really helps. If you are looking to save a deposit in two years then you should keep to this and budget accordingly. You might be lucky enough to live rent-free, but your parents might also want you to show them that you are on your way to reaching your deposit goal, and not just throwing away your money on expensive clothes or nights out.
The same applies for when you are looking for a job. You need to show your parents that you are being proactive and looking for jobs, or at least doing some training to help you find a job. They might not appreciate you sat at home every day watching the TV and it is good motivation for you.
7) Socialise with friends
Living at home doesn’t mean you shouldn’t see your friends or participate in hobbies. You might feel lonely at times back at home, but it is important to still have a social life and this could also help motivate you to move out if you are living quite far from people.
8) Communicate with your parents
When living with your parents they might want to know when you will be home and if you will be having dinner with them. Communicating this information to them through a note or phone call helps your relationship as well as letting them know how your deposit is coming along. If you are finding it hard to save then they might be able to help you out by letting you off rent for a month.
9) Time to move on
Are you starting to argue with your parents more or more and are just not getting along as well as you once did? This might be the time to move on. Being miserable and falling out with your parents isn’t worth it for the sake of saving for a house deposit. The best thing to do in this situation is to move out and either live with friends or find a cheap place to rent so that you can continue saving a deposit.
Published on 5th of March 2015 by Marty Stanowich
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